7 Quick Takes - On Toddlerhood and Toddler Training

One
Maybe we're a bunch of wino's (well, I'm not right now, but our family does like it's vino), but Lloyd's favorite new thing to do is to "Cheers" everyone. Whenever he sees someone drinking something now, anything, water, milk, tea, wine, virgin strawberry margarita, he takes his cup and wants to "cheers" you, and everyone else within reach. It is very cute.

Two
Speaking of Lloyd, he is becoming a full-fledged toddler with tantrums and emotional highs and lows and some authority/power issues erupting; I feel like I'm raising a teenager, not a two year old. Suddenly we realized that our baby isn't a baby anymore and we actually have to discipline him and train him. It's kind of wierd. All of a sudden I'm an adult. And a parent. I was before, but this is different.

In a blog post, somewhere (I can't remember when or where, but I know it was Elizabeth), Elizabeth briefly mentioned their discipline methodology with their two year old; in brief, what won't be cute when they're older? If a four year old or a six year old did the same activity, (especially if it wasn't YOUR kid) would you still think it would be cute? Or would you think that they were misbehaving or poorly disciplined? Those are the things to nip in the bud and address. Now.

For example . . . sure, it's cute now when Lloyd finds a box of crackers and requests them, who can resist a two year old coming up to you with a big smile and a box of crackers?, but he is beginning to demand them. And only that kind of cracker. And getting upset and throwing a fit when I tell him no because it is twenty minutes to lunch, or he's already snacked on crackers or I try to divert him to eat something else for a snack. I'm trying to work with this to avoid temptation; I've moved all crackers out of his reach (in an upper cabinet he can't open, rather than the lower ones that he could) and I've made a little shelf for him in a lower cabinet that I stock with a few snacks that would be acceptable should he, in fact, be hungry (a box of raisins, a pre-measured quantity of a pre-approved cracker, etc. - plus he can always eat cheese or fruit for a snack, and I offer that verbally) but I figure that if he declines these, he's not really hungry. I want him to learn that he can trust his hunger instincts and can make some choices for himself, but I also need him to understand that when Mama says no, she means NO. And that if mama provides something for him to eat, that is what he eats. Period.

Three

We're also working on our vocabulary with Lloyd, whenever he is not behaving. We're trying not to say that he is "bad", rather that he is "behaving" poorly, aka "naughty." I don't want the kid to think that he is "bad," ever - so we are working on our vocabulary, instituting that it is important to "obey" mama and daddy, and that he is behaving poorly and that some things are off limits.

We've also had to begun using a "naughty seat" a la Super Nanny.

Right now, we give him several warnings if we catch him doing something we don't want him to do (like, for example, removing the screens from Grandma's kitchen windows, which he somehow learned how to do this week, or banging his cup down sharply on the table, rather than placing it down gently - we are learning how to drink out of a glass cup this week, so this is rather important!), explaining that he may not do that particular action, but if he persists, we pick him up and place him in a designated area (right now, a fairly boring corner in the kitchen that looks at nothing, just a cabinet - though it's tempting sometimes, we're not going this route!) and explain to him that he didn't obey mama and daddy, that he continued to do what we asked him not to do, and so now he has to sit in the naughty seat until we allow him to get up. For now, we're starting at one minute and getting out of his line of sight. If he gets up on his own, we set him back down. When we go to get him, we get down to his eyelevel, explain to him why he had to sit there (i.e. Mama told you not to slam your cup on the table and you continued to do it. That was naughty. That was why you had to sit in the naughty seat. It is important to obey mama or you will lose the privilege of drinking out of a glass, like a big boy. I love you, now you can get up.)

I've now learned that just theatening the naughty seat (if he strays back to an area where he got in trouble before) will cause him to change his ways. Success!

I'm also learning that it is important not to overuse the naughty seat. Not everything he does is that inappropriate for a two year old, and that patience and communication take precedence . . . but that naughty seat is certainly being implemented in this home.

What strategies have you used succesfully with gently training a toddler? Any techniques or books you can recommend?

Four
He's also got a few new words. The best?

Cheese.

pronounced "Th-eace" (rhymes with peace and with a touch of "th" more than "ch")

How cute is that?

Five
Lloyd's birthday is this weekend! He turns two on Sunday! Unfortunately it looks like kind of yucky, grey, cold weather is on the menu, so our trip to the park may be changed, but he'll have plenty of play time indoors if that is the case (and plenty of new toys and games to play with, I'm sure!)

I'm planning on making some of his favorite foods for the day - pancakes with berries (bea-wies) for breakfast, still trying to decide on lunch, but what I'm most excited about is his cake. I picked up this cake pan at Christmas time and have been saving it for his birthday. Lloyd is all about cars, so it should be perfect!

Six
I finished reading A Prayer for Owen Meany last night. It was kind of a wierd experience. The first time I read this book I was a sophomore in high school and had borrowed it from Mrs. Massie's shelf. Now, Mrs. Massie was, and still has been, the most difficult class I've ever taken. And I learned more from that class than almost any other. She taught us LITERATURE. Not English. Not grammar. She taught us to appreciate LITERATURE. And how to write, and write well. (Disclaimer: Please do not use the writing on this blog as a reference to her ability to teach . . . it's not the same kind of writing.)

Anyway, A Prayer for Owen Meany was my first serious foray into good writing, good literature, and I've been a fan of John Irving ever since (one summer I read six or seven of his books back to back!). I remember reading through it quickly that first time, and subsequent times, but I hadn't read it in several years. Probably pre-marriage and definitely pre-motherhood, and pre-Catholic.

This time reading it was somehow different.

It was hard starting it. It took a long time to read it. I'd only have time to read a few pages at a time before conking out before bed or having to attend to Lloyd. For a while, I was actually feeling sorry for myself for starting it, because I wasn't feeling it the way I had before, and I worried that somehow I was ruining it for myself because I wasn't enjoying it like I had before.

And then I got into the story a little more. And I read it with new eyes, new adult eyes, new faith-filled eyes, and the story, to me, became less a story about two friends growing up, one with a somewhat outrageous life, and became to me a story about faith and how one friend can influence another in their faith, and away from doubt, just by living their life. Inspiring, in a quiet way.

I'm glad I read it. I think I like it even more this time.

Seven
Officially 34 weeks and my first appointment with my new doctor is today! Wish me luck! On one hand, I am ready to be done being pregnant, but on the other, I am not quite ready for a new baby. Mama needs to go shopping!

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